Hugh, Joan, Nancy, Scott, and his parents Marian and Frank
But life goes on and Joan’s did just that.
Hugh moved out and youngest daughter Nancy’s new husband moved in and in September of 1987 Joan’s second grandchild was born, Nicole (hey that’s me!) Nicole had her days and nights mixed up and Nancy was struggling with the sleep deprivation. Joan would get up in the middle of the night and take Nicole and rock her and sit with her so Nancy could get at least some sleep. Nancy said she didn’t know what she would have done without her mother’s help those first few weeks.
Jane and Joan
However, no mother daughter relationship is ever perfect and the two stubborn women fought often. Joan felt that because Nancy was her daughter that she should do anything Joan asked of her, Nancy didn’t agree. Eventually a fight over an ice cube tray caused her to take her family and move out. A little over a year later, over their ice cube fight, Nancy came back and stayed. There would still be many fights, because as I said previously, Joan was not easy to live with and unbeknownst to anyone Nancy had a brain tumor that severely affected her personality (but that’s a story for another day, I promise.)
Joan and daughters Susan and Nancy
Just before the divorce Joan had become a grandma, and for the next few years the grandkids kept on coming. Dan, Nicole, Laura, Kevin, Karen, and Sarah. Joan loved her grandbabies more than anything in this world. She became “the baby thief,” if you came in the house with a baby she wanted to snuggle with them. Every chance she got she talked about her babies, theyJ were her pride and joy. When Nicole was a baby, Joan retired from working and stayed home to become a full time nana, taking care of Nicole and eventually Sarah when she came along.
Joan with granddaughters Sarah and Nicole
Linda was living in Kansas and Susan was living in Arizona at this point so Joan would fly out as often as she could to visit them.
Joan with daughter Susan and grandson Kevin - Joan with grandkids Laura, Dan, and Karen
In 1998 Joan suffered another big loss in her life. Twin sister Jane passed away. She was the last of her immediate family still alive as Joseph Jr had passed in 1983 and her father had died in 1958.
Jane, life long friend Anne, and Joan
She always called Sarah, the youngest granddaughter, “the Baby” even when she was clearly no longer a baby. Sarah would come home from school and go downstairs, where Joan had her own bedroom and living room, and would ask her to play board games or watch Veggie Tales with her. Joan didn’t cook often at this point, usually just heating up stouffer's lasagnas or tv dinners, but still loved to make herself lamb chops occasionally. Sarah would always manage to come steal half her dinner til Joan finally wised and started making an extra one for her.
Joan with daughter Nancy's family - Nicole, Sarah, and Scott
When Nicole was old enough to get her driver’s permit she became Joan’s new chauffeur. She would drive her to church on Sundays and then to the grocery store, where Joan would walk around with a calculator and add up all her purchases before she got to the register. One night Nicole and Sarah decided they wanted to go get ice cream but their parents were busy, so downstairs they went to Joan and asked if she would like to join them. Joan of coarse was elated that’d they asked and they all hopped in the car and drove to Denville Dairy. What they forgot was that no one told Nancy or Scott that they’d kidnapped nana. All Nancy saw was that her daughters were missing and so was her car so she began freaking out. A little while later Joan and the girls came back (with an ice cream sundae for Nancy) and Joan told her how happy she was that she got to go out with her girls. How could Nancy be mad at that? This is one of the last good memories I have of her.
In June of 2004 Joan reached up into her closet one day to get a sewing basket, she accidentally dropped it and the basket went spilling everywhere. In doing so it’s believed that a needle fell into one of her slippers. At this point she had very bad diabetes and had pretty much no feeling in her feet. No one is sure how long it was in there for but a needle got lodged into her foot. One day she asked Nancy to take a look at her foot because it felt strange. Nancy found a giant infected blood blister on the bottom of her foot. They took her over to the ER and the doctor said it was badly infected, so much so they thought she might lose her foot. They took Joan to surgery to remove the needle and drain the infection, thankfully they were able to save her foot.
Joan with daughter Susan the last time she went to visit her in Arizona
Unfortunately while recovering in the hospital she contracted C-Diff, which is highly contagious. Between the C-Diff and her unable to put any weight on her foot it was decided she would not be able to come back home. Nancy and Scott both worked full time and Linda and Susan lived far away, no one would be able to take care of her the way she would need. She spent the summer going back and forth between nursing facilities. At the end of August she had finally been accepted into a permanent nursing home, but the doctor took one look at her and said you need to be in the hospital right now. All of her organs were failing. There was nothing more they could do but make her comfortable. On August 29, 2004 Joan passed away with Nancy, Scott, and her lifelong friend Anne holding her hand.
The last photo ever taken of Joan in May of 2004 with granddaughter Nicole
You might also like:
Jane and Joan McGonigle - The Early Years
Joan McGonigle - Part 2, Part 3, Part 5
Jane McGonigle - Part 2
Arthur Gallay - her adoptive father
Leo Fallon - Part 1, Part 2 (her cousin)
Joan McGonigle - Part 2, Part 3, Part 5
Jane McGonigle - Part 2
Arthur Gallay - her adoptive father
Leo Fallon - Part 1, Part 2 (her cousin)
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