In 1959 Hugh wanted a change of scenery, he lined up a teaching job in Ventura, California and the family headed west. At the same time this was happening Hugh’s mother died. As mentioned before Hugh had several siblings in Kentucky, his youngest sister Alice was still a teenager and was a bit of a handful. Hugh’s brother James, who Alice was staying with, called Joan and Hugh and asked if Alice could come to California and live with them for a while, maybe they could keep her in line. They agreed, and Alice joined the foursome in California.
I’m sure the combination of a rebellious teenager and raising two of her daughters was rough on Joan. After the first year in California Hugh’s contract was not renewed and he got another job over an hour away. He was miserable commuting and Joan was incredibly homesick, she missed her friends and family back in New Jersey, especially her twin sister Jane. Alice was also miserable and a month before she finished high school convinced James to let her come back to Kentucky (but that’s a story for another day.) With all of that the Pryors headed back to New Jersey.
They would finally wind up buying a house in Rockaway, New Jersey, which Joan would live in for the rest of their lives. She and Hugh both got teaching jobs. They were always having block parties with the neighbors and dance parties in the basement. By now Jane was married with several children of her own and the sisters were always at each others houses with their children in tow. Joan was very involved at St Clements RC church, never missing a Sunday mass, and she always had to sit front row. She was a part of the ladies auxiliary and helped out with Bingo.
In 1966 the family got a big surprise. Joan was pregnant again. Susan and Linda were already teenagers at this point. In April 1967 Nancy was born. Joan quit teaching to stay home with her until she was in school.
Eventually she went back to work as a substitute teacher and quickly became the town’s “favorite sub.” She worked practically every day, sometimes even teaching Nancy’s classes, much to Nancy’s embarrassment. Joan would also tutor kids with learning disabilities. Many times she had turned a ‘bad kid’ around because she had the patience to sit with them and work with their needs when others wouldn’t. Nancy said there was always someone learning at the dining room table. Joan took her extra money from her subbing to buy things for her girls, like new clothes for Nancy instead of hand me downs, and every year she would make a special trip into NYC to buy Linda a doll from FAO Schwarz.
Family was very important to Joan. She was the glue that held the family together much of the time. She had the gift of gab and was always on the phone with her sister, a friend, or cousin going on about this or that. Back in those days phones had those long curly cords that only stretched so far. Hugh went out and bought an extra long one so Joan could sit comfortably at the dining room table and talk for hours. At Christmas she wrote long letters to everyone about the happenings of the year (a habit her daughter Linda would pick up later.) She helped plan all the family reunions for the Kelleher side of the family, even becoming president of the Kelleher Reunion Committee (seriously, I found a news article so it was a thing.) And she always brought her famous macaroni and potato salads as well as her fried chicken to every party.
What she might be most remembered for is her love of television, you could almost say it was an obsession at times. She loved soap operas and game shows, and even had a celebrity crush on Chuck Norris. It was the best day ever when VCRs were invented and she could finally record her shows. She could spend all day sitting in front of the TV while she knit her famous Irish afghans, which she gifted to everyone when they got married.
In 1981 Joan found out she had colon cancer. She went through chemotherapy and fought for her life. She managed to beat the cancer. But her health scares were not over yet. In 1987 she would wind up needing a hysterectomy which she suffered complications from and spent weeks in the hospital.
Before I tell you the end of this chapter let me preface it by saying that while Joan could be incredibly loving and caring to those in her life, she was not always easy to live with. She suffered from depression and had severe abandonment issues. The trauma of losing her mother at a young age, feeling abandoned by her father who couldn’t care for her himself, living with her aunt and uncle who while providing for her needs did not always provide the love she so desperately craved. Food was a very big comfort to her and she put on a lot of weight because of it. She tried many diets but even when she lost the weight she would gain it back tenfold, eventually just giving up and letting herself go. The more she gained, the more depressed she got, the more depressed, the more things in life just seemed to fall to the wayside.
Just before Joan found out she needed a hysterectomy her youngest daughter Nancy found out that she was pregnant. Nancy was engaged already but not yet married. Joan, being extremely religious, was not happy. Hugh, on the other hand, announced he was thrilled and was so happy for them, a sentiment that surprised everyone, as he was a very strict man. While Joan was in the hospital Hugh came to her and informed her that they had grown apart over the years and he had fallen in love with another woman. Nancy finally being old enough to be on her own he felt he could finally come clean. He wanted a divorce.
Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 4
You might like
Jane and Joan McGonigle - The Early Years
Joan McGonigle - Part 2, Part 4, Part 5
Jane McGonigle - Part 2
Arthur Gallay - her adoptive father
Leo Fallon - Part 1, Part 2 (her cousin)
No comments:
Post a Comment