Gianna Marie

On October 9, 2013 at 6:10 PM Gianna Marie VanKampen entered this world and changed my life forever.

I have always known that I wanted to be a mom. I was always up in the air about what I wanted to do career wise, changing my mind often, but the one thing that was always consistent was that I wanted to get married and have kids. When I met JR it was clear that he wanted a million kids so right after we got married we decided to start trying to get pregnant. And month after month nothing happened.

I could write a whole long post about it but its a lot, so if you want to know all about it you can read some of our journey here:
1. Back Story 2. HSG Test 3. Adventures in Clomid 4. Finally pregnant

On January 29th, I was nauseous, and my boobs hurt, and overly emotional. All the signs I was going to get my period. My wonderful husband insisted I was pregnant. No way. Can't be possible. Its to early. I was only 8 days post ovulation. On my way home I tried to talk myself down. I can't be pregnant. Its our first round of Clomid. It couldn't have worked. I got home and had to pee. I'm not going to test. I'm not going to test. Ok, fine, I'll just take one test just to get this idea out of my head.
I peed in the cup, dipped the test, and took the dog for a walk. I started to put the groceries away when I remembered to go look at the test.

There's a line. No that's not a line. Holy shit that's a line. What do I do? I'm seeing things. What do I do? Take another test. Holy shit there's a line on there.

It was true, I was pregnant. Though I wouldn't believe it until after we got to see her little heart beat.

 I felt like my pregnancy was never ending. Not that it was a hard pregnancy for the most part, besides my crazy emergency appendectomy and morning sickness that lasted til the bitter end. I was still up and moving around the day before I went in to labor, and worked up until my due date. The problem was that I started having contractions so early, even having to go to labor and delivery at 36 weeks because they were so bad (but so short they weren't actually doing anything,) that everyone, even the doctor thought for sure that I was going to have this baby early. But my due date came and went and I was NOT a happy camper. We had tried for 21 long months to get pregnant, and then another 9 months with her in my belly, I was ready to meet my daughter. Everyone kept telling me to enjoy the last few days of pregnancy, that I would miss feeling her in my belly, that I would miss her kicks, but I insisted they were all crazy. I was barely sleeping, between peeing a million times another night and hip pain so bad I couldn't get comfortable no matter what side I slept on. Her kicks were no longer little kicks, but giant rolls that felt like an alien trying to bust out of my belly, and a foot jammed in my ribs, why did everyone insist I would miss this??

40 weeks

The weeks before I went into labor we tried all the old wives tales to induce labor, I ate more pineapple than I ever have in my life, we tried spicy food, chinese food, long walks around the mall til I was so uncomfortable I wanted to crawl back to the car, I did squats, cleaned my apartment from top to bottom, and of coarse tried getting her out the same way we got her in. But nothing worked. At my 39 week appointment I was barely a finger tip dilated. I couldn't believe it, all the painful contractions I was having, and nothing was happening!

Age 5

My due date was on a Monday and I spent the whole day cleaning our apartment from top to bottom making sure that if this little girl ever decided to make an appearance that I would be ready. I went to bed that night cranky as hell that I was still pregnant. Tuesday came and I decided to spend the day relaxing with the dog. My mom called me and said one of the women that she works with suggested I try castor oil, and that it sent her sister in to labor right away. I had read about castor oil and heard that it had over a 50% success rate of sending women into labor, but the side effects were not pretty. If you've never heard of castor oil, its a laxative that basically irritates your uterus and starts contractions, but it obviously makes you shit your brains out and in some cases also causes vomiting. I told my mother I was not that desperate yet and would wait and see what my doctor said at my appointment on Thursday. That night JR and I ordered Chinese food and I told him about the call from my mother. I could tell that he was on board with me giving it a shot, but was willing to wait it out. I again said I wasn't at that point, but as we sat on the couch and I stared at my big giant belly I was getting more and more impatient. I just wanted to meet my daughter! I looked over at him and he asked if I wanted him to go get me castor oil. I nodded.

Age 4

So off we went to Rite Aid to pick up castor oil and orange juice to mix it with. We came home around 8pm and I took 2 tablespoons of what I can only describe as one of the grossest things I have ever tasted. Almost right away I was in the bathroom but it wasn't awful. We watched Sons of Anarchy and at 11:30 I still wasn't really feeling anything. I announced that clearly this wasn't going to work and went to bed cranky. Around 3 am I woke up with terrible back pain. I tossed and turned for a few minutes before starting to feel contractions. I pulled out my phone and started timing them. 5 minutes apart. I woke JR up with my moaning and groaning and told him I was having contractions. I said I was going to get in the shower, figuring if it was braxton hicks the hot water would help, and if I was in labor at least I would have freshly washed hair. I was still having contractions in the shower and by time I got out I was barely getting relief in between. At this point it was about 4 am, I quickly got dressed and called the doctor who said to head over to L&D since my contractions were so close. We called my mom, sent out texts to the family, and headed over to the hospital.

Age 3

We got to the hospital and I hobbled in to the ER to check in. Those meanies made me walk all the down the hall to the elevators to get up to L&D. The nurse quickly got me in to a room and had me undress. My contractions were basically on top of each other at this point and I was hooked up to monitors. Contractions were 2-3 minutes apart but I was barely 1 cm dilated. My mom arrived and the nurses gave me pain medicine (stadol) to help relax me a little. The drugs didn't really help with the pain, but did make me so sleepy that I was to tired and out of it to really care. Around 9 am Dr Uzbay, my doctor, came in to check on me. She said I was 2cm dilated at that point so we had a little progress but not much. She decided to break my water and start me on Pitocin to see if that would help me progress. She told me my midwife Suzanne would be in around 12:30 to check on me and that she would be out of the town the rest of the afternoon. Around 11 I got more stadol and then the anesthesiologist came in and did the epidural. They kicked my mom and JR out of the room and the nurse sat me up and leaned me over the table so they could stick the needle in my back. The Stadol had me so out of it I could barely sit up and didn't even feel any pain from the epidural at all. They laid me back down and soon I was totally numb and felt no pain at all.

Age 2

We all sat around the room watching crappy day time TV and waiting for Suzanne to come in and check me for progress. Finally around 1pm she came in and checked me only to find out I had made no progress. At this point no one was all that hopeful that I would having a vaginal delivery. We upped the Pitocin and Suzanne told me she would be back after 4:30 when she finished with her other appointments. I was still pretty doped up and tried to get some rest. The three of us dozed on and off all day. I was starving and annoyed that my body wasn't working the way I wanted it to. After all the crap we went through to get pregnant because my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to, here we were again, my body being a pain in the ass.

Age 1

Just before 5 Suzanne came back and delivered the bad news that I still had made no progress. I was so tired and drained, I had been in labor since 3 am, I wasn't sure that I could even push this baby out if I wanted to. I told her that I was ok with a c-section if that's what we had to do. She left the room to call Dr Uzbay and see what her opinion was. A few minutes later she came back to tell me Dr Uzbay was on her way back from Hackensack and they would both be doing my c-section at 6.

10 months

Suddenly everything became VERY real to me. I had been in labor almost 16 hours but at that moment I realized that in the next hour I was actually going to be a mother. The moment I had been waiting for for so long was upon me and the tears started flowing. I had some mushy moments with my mom and my husband. And then things started moving very quickly. Another anesthesiologist came in and gave me some more pain medication, nurses were explaining everything to me, I was handed lots of papers to sign, JR was given scrubs to keep him sterile in the OR, and before I knew it they were wheeling me into surgery.

4 months

JR had to wait outside til just before they cut me open. The room was freezing and very bright. Lots of people were talking to me but I was so amped up on Adrenalin I really had no idea what was going on. JR came in and they sat him up by my head and behind the mysterious blue curtain. All of a sudden I felt lots of pressure on my belly and could tell they were starting. Within minutes, but what seemed like seconds, the anesthesiologist told JR to stand up and see his daughter, and then they announced that she was out.

 

Let me tell you, that first cry is the most amazing thing I have ever heard. They took her over to the table to clean her off and let JR see her, then they let JR hold her by my head for a minute so I could see her. It's insane how quickly you can fall in love with someone you've just met. Its overwhelming really. But just as quickly as she came out, they rushed her and JR out of the room and began to patch me up. What seemed like an eternity later I was taken out in to the recovery room. I was so amped up from all the Adrenalin and the drugs that I couldn't stop shaking. The nurse put me under a heating tent and told me to try and get some rest but all I wanted was to see my daughter.

Finally a nurse came in and asked if I wanted the baby to come in to the room. I couldn't say yes fast enough. A few minutes later in came JR, my mom, and my beautiful baby girl. I was still very shaky so I couldn't hold her yet. I just watched as they gave her a bath and JR told me what I had missed. My little girl Gianna Marie Vankampen was born at 6:10 pm on 10/9/13. She was 19 1/2 inches long and weighed 7lbs 14oz. She had a full head of brown hair, her mommy's lips, and her daddy's chin.

The nurse came back and took the three of them out to our room and a few minutes later I was wheeled over there as well. My dad, sister, and uncle arrived and everyone fussed over Gianna. FINALLY I was able to hold my little girl, it was one of the best moments of my life.

It has been 6 years since the day Gianna made me a mom, and every day she amazes me more then the last. She is so much like me and even more like my sister that some days its like deja vu. When you first meet her she is so shy, and takes her time to take you in and warm up, but boy once she does is she the most dramatic sassy diva there ever was. Since before she could even talk she loved to 'sing' and dance. At 18 months we signed her up for gymnastics as a way to socialize her and she's been doing flips and bends ever since, always wanting to show off. Just like me she always is taking care of the younger kids and acts like the mom of the group. Her youngest brother is her baby boy and is always teaching her little cousin Harper to be just like her. She's obsessed with makeup and quite honestly can do her make up better then I can. This girl is going places, most likely to the stage where she can sing her little heart out and back flip her way into the hearts of everyone she meets.

Happy Birthday my beautiful baby girl. No matter how big you get you will always be my baby

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